Girl, You Got to Show Up

As school starts back up and I get my kids out of the house for eight hours during the day (insert equal tears and smiles from me), I get to take more time to focus on my business, on my writing. This is excellent because I'm still trying to pump out my next draft of my manuscript to make some writing deadlines with different publishers. But I also have more time for my clients. And I have time to take on more clients, or a larger load with who I already work with.

I am busy.

I had someone once tell me: "Oh, it must be so nice to work from home, to watch your kids and keep a clean house." Uh... what??? No, it's not always nice. Thankfully my kids are old enough that they can operate with a certain level of independence, but I'm still the one making the ramen, or mac & cheese. And a clean house? Forget about it. I'm working, not vacuuming. I've found it rather difficult to type on my computer while pushing the mop around. Sure, I can toss in and switch out loads of laundry, but I definitely don't have time to sit down and fold it. Not if I want to keep up with my work. And I want to keep up with my work.

For some people, the idea of a working mom is equal to running through the playground spewing cuss words. And the middle-class culture I live in doesn't always help things (and umm, it's Utah). I'm surrounded by stay-at-home moms. If I had numbers, they would be staggering. For some, that's just the life they want. It's how they want to be there for their family. For others, it's the indisputable truth that daycare is expensive. Sometimes it's just not realistic for both parents to be out of the house. In fact, taking a position working from home for the first time was greatly influenced by the lack of childcare I had to pay. The challenge being that I'm trying to work WHILE parenting. Anyone with kids knows that parenting is a full-time job, so adding another job was difficult. But I worked for two reasons, and I'm not ashamed to admit either:
1) I needed the income. The lifestyle I like requires two incomes at my house. Could I live on just my husband's income? Absolutely. Knowing the average income in the US, I know that many, many, people do live on that income or less. (I'm not saying this to elevate myself or socioeconomic status in ANY way - I'm just saying what our reality is. Plenty of peeps earn way more than us.)
2) I have to work... for myself. I did the at-home mom thing. Were there parts that I absolutely loved? Here is my very emphatic YES! But I needed more for myself. Working rewards me personally. And most of the time it makes me happy. (Sans those inevitable stressful days.)
So do I think more or less of moms who stay at home? More or less of moms who work? No way, Jose!

Parenting is tough stuff... I applaud all mothers out there. 

Stepping into the role of a small business owner changed a lot for me. Suddenly I only had myself to be accountable to. I mean, yes, I have to be accountable to my clients and the work they pay me for, but if I don't keep myself on task or working hard, those clients are going to go elsewhere.

I've told the story a million times (okay, not really, but I've told it before), but last fall I left my reliable job that I hated and went into business for myself, where business was unreliable, but my happiness was assured because I was doing what I loved. And here's what I've learned, and hopefully I can impart my wisdom on at least one of you readers... If you want something, you've got to do the work. What I wanted? To freelance write. And raise my kids. And to do both I have to hustle. Let me say that again... I have to hustle. Do things get difficult? Yes. Do I give up? No! I had to learn the hard way how to admit to myself that I was unhappy because of me, not my old job. I had to own that I was a product of my choices rather than my circumstances. Yes, things get handed to us every day that we have no control over, but it's what I do, it's the decisions I make that ultimately put me where I am.

If you want something, you have to do the work. 

If you want something, you have to do the work. It's as simple as that. I learned that if I wanted to get all my clients' social media posts ready to go (images, too), I had to step away from the Hallmark channel. I had to prioritize. Can the Hallmark movie be more fun than my work, well, sometimes, yes. But by not prioritizing my work, by not doing the work, I'm not going to get what I want. I'm not going to make it down the road to that destination I have in my mind. So I hustle. I push through. I make the ramen. I say no to Hallmark. I say yes to my work. I show up - for myself. Because that's how I'm going to make a difference - a difference in my life, in my children's lives, in my husband's life, and a difference in my future. And that's how I'm going to get the things I want, reach my goals, and see my vision come to fruition.

So if you've learned anything from my ramblings today, I hope it's this:
1) You are what you choose.
2) If you want something, you have to put in the work. You have to show up.

Girl, you already have what it takes. Don't just dream it, get it.