Live Your Purpose

I am about to head out of town for a few days, again. So I thought I would get a post in before I step away for a bit.

When driving through L.A. last week, just cruising down the 60, there was a billboard that we passed and the words just resonated with me:

Live your purpose.

So often we sit in our comfort zone and simply live day-to-day as we float through life. It's called our comfort zone for a reason, right? It's comfortable. But we never grow when we stay in that comfort zone. Change happens when we make a change. So many of us have dreams that live deep inside us, dreams that we never pursue because we believe we're not good enough, or because we think those dreams are wild or crazy, or that we'll never succeed. Those voices of doubt have been woven into us over the years and we believe them to be truth. But think back to your childhood, before any of that doubt lived inside of us. What did you want to be? In your head, at that time, we listened to that small voice inside of us and we actually believed we could be those things. And then we grow up and tell ourselves those dreams were folly... because reality has set in. But reality and truth are subjective. We view our version of truth through those lenses that have been put in front of us, lenses established by family beliefs and values, our gender, our race, our socioeconomic status, our religion, our nationality, our sexuality, our education, the media we consume, and the society in which we live. When we sit quietly and reflect, we can discover those lenses, and challenge ourselves to remove them, to approach something in a completely different manner. We can let go of the reasons we tell ourselves we cannot do something, that we cannot follow our dreams.

Sitting in my most recent therapy session, I had this realization that I am a product of a lack of confidence. Rarely do I ever stand up for myself, rarely do I assert myself for myself. I doubt my skills as a writer and therefore settle for things that are mundane, and boring because I think that's the best I can do. But I don't want this in my life. I don't want to cower and hide. I want to stand tall, and firm and declare that I am worthy. That my dreams and wants matter. That I matter. My biggest fear is evolving, from I can't do that to I didn't give it my all. If I want to take the leap, I must commit to myself and to my dream. I have to give it my all. There is not trying. I can't dabble in it, I must immerse myself in it. I must soak it all in and let it shape me into the person that I want to be. I want to have an active role in my life rather than to just be a bystander in it.

It's in times like these, where I am wandering in the darkness in search of the light... in search of my dreams that I must rely most on my faith. My faith is in Christ. Relying on my faith is a constant struggle for me as I want to take everything into my own hands, into my own control, to make it happen for myself. But then I remind myself that He is stronger than me. And it is His will that will lead the way and make possible the dreams he put inside of me. He will reveal my moment in His time.

"Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord." Luke 1:45

I repeat this verse over and over every day. And over and over again when my doubt begins to creep in.

I need to let go of the fear. I need to live my purpose.