The Purposeful Woman

I am so excited to introduce you all to this month's Purposeful Woman. Krysten is an amazing woman who balances a full-time career, a personal consulting business, as well as a family. She tells the powerful story of how she and her husband struggled with the heartbreak of infertility, and how she used her personal business as a way to rise above. Today, she is raising awareness to the harmful ingredients we use in our everyday products, and what we can do to better ourselves and our health by switching to safer products. She is a woman who lifts up others and encourages all women to follow their dreams.

Krysten and Aaron have been married for seven years, and together, with a home on the lake in central Minnesota, they are raising their two beautiful daughters: Addison (almost 4), and Emilia (7 months). Krysten, who earned her undergrad from the University of Minnesota, Duluth in psychology, and a masters in Counseling Psychology from St. Cloud State University, works for the College of Saint Benedict in student accessibility services. She provides students with disabilities additional academic and housing support. In addition to this career, she also balances a consulting business with the Beautycounter, a B-Corp, whose mission is to raise awareness of harmful ingredients in personal care products, provide safer solutions, and push for more protective health laws in the personal care industry.

Years ago, I followed Krysten's food blog, which she had built during her stint as a stay-at-home mom after the birth of Addie. She had the best recipes and made even me, a kitchen-inept woman, feel I could pull off some culinary masterpieces. Sadly, it's not possible to balance everything and she has since let that venture go. "It was a lot of work! Maybe some day I'll bring it back." That would be amazing. 

How does Krysten describe herself in three words? Driven. Straight-forward. Honest. "Doesn't seem to make me seem well-rounded; it should be something like... mom." But in a world of Minnesota-nice, "I always like to know where I stand. People can always know where they stand with me."

Krysten's born-and-bred Minnesota girl shines through when she describes her favorite things as her family, "being on the water", and a "nice cocktail." She sipped away on one of those while we had this interview. With the lake in the distance. My Minnesota heart yearned to be physically with her. Some of her other favorites? "I'm going to sound like a giant hick right now, but I love country music. I am a country girl." Specifically, 90s country. "I also listen to a lot of kid-bop. Which sometimes I just listen to because it's, literally, all the hits. It's so funny how they change the lyrics, just a little bit, so that you're like... pumping that water," she says with a laugh. All moms out there will know exactly what she means. Her favorite book is Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis. "Every word of that book I'm like, yes! yes! yes! It's just so darn good!" 

Krysten had no hesitation when asked about her favorite food. "Tortellini Straw and Hay from Ciatti's." (Which, sadly, is now closed.) "I would eat it like it was my job. And I have tried over and over again to perfect that recipe and I just can't do it." Ironically, it was this very recipe from her blog that I served to all on my bunco ladies for dinner one night, years ago.

"What is your first thought in the morning?" 

"How many times can I hit snooze? Do I have to wash my hair?" Insert fingers into the hair for a wash check. "Then I start going through what needs to happen in the morning. Calculate."

Parenting is tough, and Krysten knows just as well as any mom out there. So, Krysten, "what would you describe as your parenting motto?" 

"We're the boss. What we say goes. I think we're pretty strict. And then I heard this thing a while ago about how the way you talk to your kids becomes their inner-voice. So I try to watch what I say. I want to boost [Addie's] confidence."

Marriage. Krysten and her husband Aaron have been married for seven years. Although they knew each other in high school, it wasn't until they were in college that they began dating. "He asked me to come with him to a party and it was Olympics themed, so he was dressed like a figure skater. Tight pants, buttoned shirt, shaved chest. And I was like, yes!" Krysten describes sitting on their beach together after the kids go to bed as one of her favorite things to do with Aaron. 

"How do you prioritize your marriage?" 

"Well, I think it's the little things. Texts. Just checking in with the other person to see how they are. And also giving each other space for ourselves. It's a balance." The one word she uses to describe their marriage? "Team."

"How do you prioritize your health?"

"I try! It's something I need to be better at. For a while, I did get motivated to do something about it but then my milk supply tanked. And so I stopped. Reluctantly. I had to feed my baby. I mean, I try to eat well and walk, but I do need to do more."

"What makes you feel beautiful?"

"Happiness." Which is pretty much a perfect response from her because Krysten is a beautiful woman whose beauty is only magnified by her generosity, kindness, and happiness. She absolutely oozes happiness.

"What is the one thing you would improve about yourself?"

"I would be more patient. Both with others and myself."

"What do you do to treat yourself?"

"A bath. A good bath. The View. I watch it every night when Aaron is putting Addie to bed. I started watching it when Addie was a baby and I still watch it every day. I feel like those women are my friends. And I love Meghan McCain. She doesn't care what anybody thinks!"

One of the people who inspire Krysten the most is her mom. "That might be cheesy." But as women, aren't we trying to lift each other up, raise our daughters to be incredible women? I'd say it's a true testament to her mom when she says that she inspires here. "She worked full-time as a professional, and has always encouraged [my brother and I] to chase our dreams and work hard. Oh, and to have fun along the way. To truly enjoy the little moments."

"What is one of your biggest dreams? Don't be shy!"

"Only one?" she said with a laugh. "I want to be managing director for my company, I'd love to have a coffee shop, and a resort. On the lake. There are no good coffee shops around here. It's time. It's needed. And I want some good coffee!"

"How do you manage the voice of doubt when it comes to those dreams?"

"Minus parenting, I don't usually have those thoughts. With parenting, I'm like, I don't know what to do. But in business, I don't usually have those thoughts. It's a matter of how am I going to do this. And with parenting, I do a lot of research. I'm a big researcher and try to figure out milestones and how to approach things. I'm just a figure-outer and have kind of squashed 'I can't do this.' I'm like, okay, I've got to figure out how to do this."

About four years ago, when Krysten was still blogging, a friend started posting on Facebook about a company called Beautycounter, and it piqued Krysten's curiosity. "I am a product junkie!" And when the opportunity came, they collaborated on the blog and Krysten was able to try her first Beautycounter product. "I fell in love with the cleansing balm. I told Aaron, I don't want to do the consulting, but this is the discount and I want to buy a bunch of cleansing balm. Run the math! But then, after a few days, I thought, 'I can do this'. At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom, and Addie wasn't napping and honestly, I was just miserable as a stay-at-home mom. That makes me feel like a bad mom, but it just wasn't for me. I needed more interaction, and more goals." 

What is Beautycounter? It's a direct retail company that advocates for safer products for everyone, Beautycounter or not. There are over 1,400 ingredients that have been banned in personal care products in the EU, but in the USA, there are 30. There has been no legislation passed in the USA to regulate personal care products since 1938. Beautycounter is unique in that they have the Never List, which contains over 1,500 ingredients that they have banned from their products. They lobby for better legislation for the regulation of all personal care products. Currently, Beautycounter offers safer options for skin-care and anti-aging regimens, cosmetics, as well as body products, including a line for babies and children. "It's for the whole family."

Beautycounter team advocating for stricter regulation.

"After I decided I was going to do the consulting, I decided that I should probably look into the safer products aspect, as it seemed a big deal for the company. I started looking at the products I was using with Addie and I was like, holy crap! I thought I was doing right by what I was putting on her. But I so wasn't. And I was shocked." Krysten then went to the other women in her life: her mom, who was a nurse practitioner, and her friends, who were also moms like her, and no one was aware of any of it. "I felt like I needed to start telling people! And that's how my business started to grow." While learning about the harmful ingredients that prevail in so many products we use everyday, Krysten learned some shocking information when she took a deeper look into the products she was using. "I found there were so many that could be causing hormone disruption, and reproductive harm, among other things." Before Addie, Krysten and her husband suffered major, and repeated heartbreak with the loss of five pregnancies, "that I know of.". After extensive testing, their diagnosis was bleak. It was unexplained infertility. "It's almost better to have an actual diagnosis so we could have figured out what to do with that." The realization of the potential harm the products they used were causing "just lit this fire inside me. We suffered heartbreak so many times, and I decided, that, as a mom, I have to share this with as many people as I can." Krysten made the switch to safer products with everything in her house, from personal care, to detergents, to cleaning products. "I started hitting it hard. And then, in between Addie and Emmie, we had zero miscarriages." Krysten has no absolute proof that there is a link between her fertility and the products she is using, but it's also an idea that's hard to dismiss outright. 

Krysten's long-term goals for her role in the company are to achieve managing director, which is the highest position in the company, and to continue to grow and expand her team. "The more voices we have to share this mission, the more people we will have that will be educated." 

"One of the biggest loves and challenges I face is seeing so much potential in others to share Beautycounter!  I absolutely love seeing others take the reins of their own business. This is also the tough part, as I see so much potential in others and know that with a little grit, patience, and persistence, a consultant could take this business wherever their heart desires... and not seeing him or her go after that potential is hard!"

"If you could choose only one item from your product line, what would it be?" "Oh boy. I'm going to cheat on the cleansing balm and say the overnight resurfacing peel. Because [it] is magical!

The Purposeful Woman

I am so excited to share Girl, Dream It's first featured woman. Every month we'll share the life and stories of women from all kinds of backgrounds and lifestyles. No two women will ever be the same... remember, there are no duplicates of each of us. With that said, let me introduce you to:

Amanda is an amazing woman with an inspiring story on how to balance a family and manage her own business. She is taking control of what matters to her while chasing her dreams. She is a great kick-off for our featured woman on Girl, Dream It. When I sat down and started brainstorming women to feature (there are so many of you out there!), she was one of the first I thought of. She has drive, and passion. Her goodness runs deep and she is genuine at her very core. Amanda and her husband Bodi have been married for sixteen years. Together, they have four children: Sophie (12), Laynie (10), Will (6), and Josie (2). Originally from Arizona, Amanda moved to Lehi, UT at age 16. She and Bodi met during their college years at Snow College, were married, and transferred to Utah Valley University where she earned her degree in Business Management and Communications. After the birth of their daughter Sophie, Amanda took on the roll of stay-at-home mom, and has been raising her beautiful babies ever since. Having kids at such varying ages can be hard... so what's her motto when it comes to parenting all of them? "Just go with it! I used to be a control freak, I still am a little, but really my motto is to relax and go with the flow." As a mom, she says her biggest challenge is keeping up with all of them, "Each of them are busy in different ways and I'm always trying to juggle their different needs." 

I love asking other women how they would describe themselves. I always wonder how it matches up with how others would describe them. I'd say Amanda was pretty much on point when she described herself as bubbly, creative, a self-starter, a prepper (I looked it up- that is a word), and lastly, happy. I couldn't agree with her more! This woman has had her struggles. And I know she's had very bad days. I brought her dinner once when she was pregnant with Josie. She was so sick the entire pregnancy yet when I showed up at her door that day, I was still met with the warmest smile and her sweet laugh. Her happiness is contagious and anytime I've ever been in her presence I can't help but feel that happiness, as well. It is this trait, this unending, unyielding happiness that oozes from her that truly makes her beautiful.

This quote sums up what I think when I see Amanda. "I look over at you and see sunshine." ~ anonymous

When I asked Amanda what her five most favorite things are, she didn't hesitate a moment before blurting out "my family... my kids!" I love how much she loves her family. They are what she lives for. The remaining three favorites? 1) Josie's hair. This child has the craziest, most awesome hair. Ever. 2) Baby animals, "Only the babies. I like kittens, but don't ever want a cat." and 3) "FOOD!" She was very emphatic about that. And I'll be real with you, I love any woman who loves food! And how awesome is it that her favorite food is pizza?! Specifically Marco's Pepperoni Magnifico. "I'm kind of boring, but I will try just about anything on a pizza."

Of course I had to ask what her favorite book was and it really only took her a few seconds to ponder this as well. These is My Words, by Nancy E. Turner. I haven't even read this. I'll get on that quick and maybe it'll end up on the new page The Book Corner! Movie of choice? Pride and Prejudice. Both the BBC version and the Keira Knightley version. Seriously, a girl after my own heart. Her travel destination of choice would be a Jane Austen tour of Europe. Maybe throw in a little World War II sites. "I like WWII fiction. I love how despite everything the human spirit still manages to shine through." Like most women I know, music can play a huge role in how they feel and that is exactly how Amanda described her music preferences. "I love to sing. I burn off frustration by singing in my car, the shower or even while I clean. And when I need music for coping, it's pop. Good pop."

Like all women, we have our weaknesses... our guilty pleasures, and Amanda was not even a little ashamed of hers: reality TV, chocolate cake, and cookies. Watching someone else's drama is far better than having it in our own lives. And of course, a good dessert is always needed... regardless of the day, am I right?

"What's your first thought in the morning when you wake up?" I asked. Remember a few posts ago when I said I always love to know this? I had to ask. "What do I have to do today?" Then she does some affirmations, a little journaling and reads scriptures. I did feel a little better about myself when she said that for a long time her first thought was, "Oh man!"

Amidst a busy and bustling life, "How do you and Bodi remain close?"
"Date night!" she exclaimed with a laugh. "We try to go once a week and my older girls make great babysitters. But date night, we try to make that a priority. Even if it's just a trip to Costco. Or a movie." She couldn't emphasize enough that communication should always be the top priority in a marriage. "We like to read books, go to conferences...learn how to express ourselves. Just basic communication and put our marriage first." I can honestly say that Tim and I have never been to a conference or retreat for couples, but I've always wanted to. This just encourages me more.

"What is the number one way you prioritize your health?"
"For a long time I didn't. I didn't work out, I slept in, I ate crap. I was depressed and didn't care about [myself]. And then one day I decided I wasn't happy and I disliked how I felt, so I shifted my mindset and recognized when I needed to sleep and that I needed to workout. I needed to take care of myself to be present for my kids. I workout now because of how it makes me feel. It's not about losing weight. I just decided that I was worth it. I put everyone else's needs above my own. But it's not selfish. My needs matter and it makes me better for my family. It's not selfish." 

I love this thought: "I just decided that I was worth it."

Amanda describes her family as what she is most passionate about. "Everything I do has my family in mind. It's all about the end-game, which is to be together, always. It's about strong relationships and amazing memories and just being close."

The dreaded question at any job interview is "What's an area that you could improve yourself in?" It seemed only appropriate to ask this for a blog that's about self-improvement. I loved her honesty. "I want to learn to not be judgmental. Of myself and of others. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt." It took bravery for her to expose herself the way she did and she completely owned it! And honestly, that's a lesson that I could benefit from as well.

I've already admitted in About Me that I am a Disney girl, through and through. And I know Amanda has a soft spot for it as well, so it seemed completely necessary to ask, "Who is your favorite Disney princess?" "Belle. (insert my excitement!) I love her voice and I can sing all of her songs. She loved her dad and knew herself, and what she wanted. She is so kind and doesn't let people push her around. And she has the best dress!" Heck yeah, she does! I've lost count of how many times I've watched BATB and sang my heart out to literally every song, so really I could have crawled across the table to hug Amanda for this.

So, speaking of 'beauty', "What makes you feel beautiful?" "When I feel appreciated or when Bodi tells me he loves me. Definitely getting my hair done. A little mascara. And when my kids appreciate me." As long as I've known Amanda, which is nearly a decade now, I've known that she keeps it simple. She is anything but high-maintenance. And I've always thought she is incredibly beautiful. She comes naturally like that- beautiful and with a heart of gold.

Before we even began our conversation for this feature, we talked a little bit about why I came back to blogging after a hiatus. We discussed what my intentions for the blog are, where my motivation came from, and how I came to actually following through with it. When it was her turn to reveal her motivation, she knew right away where it comes from... challenges. "If you say I can't do it, I'll do it. I start dreaming. I have a vision board that I get excited about. Donut rewards! Do something that makes you want to get out of bed- my dreams do that. Visualize today, and ten years from now!"

After all this talk about favorite movies and Disney princesses, we shifted our conversation a little. One of the things that made me think of Amanda right away for this feature was because, in addition to being a wife and mother of four, Amanda has gone on to launch a successful business for herself. She has established herself as a consultant with the popular Rodan+Fields company, which is a premium skincare company, and the #1 skincare brand in North America. Deciding to take this on, to launch her own business, was a giant leap of faith. The very topic of my most recent post. I think it was kismet.

"My industry is about the nos and that can be discouraging. But I use my visualization board during hard times. And I believe that we didn't come to fail. We're here to do great things."

Making a decision like this isn't something you take lightly. And I applaud her bravery for taking this on, for recognizing her dreams, regardless of the nos that she gets in this business, and reaching for them anyway. So much of our conversation was a direct reflection of this blog and the message it puts out there. And the deeper we dug into Amanda's whys and hows, the more I was reaffirmed that she had been the absolute perfect candidate to start this with. The rebirth of this blog, the re-branding, all of it, has been fed to me by my higher power, and I am absolutely confident that He led me to Amanda so that she would be able to share her story.

So... what is her story?

"I've always been a stay-at-home mom. I dabbled in graphic design and taught swimming lessons every summer, but really I just felt super isolated. And I felt... I have these skills and I wasn't using them and I just kind of felt like I was drowning. I felt like I wasn't giving my kids the best version of me and something had to change. I just didn't know what it was."

The "what" came to her through another friend in the company, who repeatedly posted on social media, planting in Amanda little seeds with every post. "It was on my mind. I just kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And I thought I could give it a shot... I didn't know anything about skincare, and at the time my skin was horrible! So I thought, if I could find something for my face, and for my mind, why not put those two together? It was one of the best decisions I made for me, just because of the community of women, and over all, the company is so empowering. It encourages you to be the best version of yourself. And then to share those skills with other people. The skincare is just a bonus."

With everything we do, especially in our careers, there are challenges to overcome, and for the sake of all women, I had to ask: what's been the hardest part? "There's a stigma to a home-based business. There's a stigma to having a direct sales business, and I was afraid of what people would say and how people would react. I had to just jump in and completely disregard my fears."

Her ultimate goal? "Our business is a legacy business. I want to retire my husband. I want to give my children experiences. I want to set us up so I can give my children and my grandchildren different experiences and memories and not be stressed over it... It's on my vision board; I can see it!" 

"What are some habits that you think are most important for driving your business?" "Consistency. You have to touch it every single day. Pushing past that fear; you have to get over yourself."

 With anything we do, there have to be perks. If there aren't any, I highly suggest you walk away from whatever that situation is. Pronto. I asked Amanda, "What is your favorite perk about owning your own business?" "This job has brought me confidence, which is something I've been missing for a long time."

"If you could pick one item from your product-line, what would be your favorite one?" "The eye cream. It's called multi-function eye cream. We call it eye-crack because you can't live without it!" 

"When it comes to life in general, or running your business, what is the best advice you've ever been given?" "Just be genuine. I think I am a passionate person and a happy person and I want myself to shine through. Be genuine with your husband, be genuine with your friends, and with your business. And I think if you can do that then the other stuff will follow."

"What would be the best advice that you could give to other women?" "Put [your]selves first. And not feel guilty about it. For so many years I didn't and I was miserable. My kids were miserable, my husband was miserable. I had to work on myself and then everything started falling into place. Women put themselves last and you can't be a whole person if you don't take care of yourself."

These are wise words.

"Any last thoughts?" "I'm just excited to be a part of this. I think the platform is awesome. There's just not enough out there that promotes empowerment and self-care and positivity. I'm just glad to be a part of something that's doing that."

I feel so fortunate that Amanda took the time out of her busy schedule to sit down and do a face-to-face with me. We had so much fun doing this over lunch! And we even had a technician at my kitchen island fixing my broken cell phone while we sat at the table doing this. I'm sure he was wondering, "what the heck?!"

If you or anyone you know would be a great woman to feature, let me know through the Contact option. I'd love to keep expanding my list of amazing women!

For more info on Amanda's consulting business, click here.